Alcoholism

This is a very personal story but it's one I that want to share with anyone who has a drinking problem. It's my way of showing what alcoholism can do to the people in your life and to encourage you to get help.

Alcoholism killed my dad. While his body lived until 2006, the wonderful person that he was when he was younger died long before that.

People have told me what a sweet, caring person he was. My aunt...his younger sister...told me how he used to hold her while they were in the bomb shelters of World War II Germany. She told me that he was her special brother. My mother once told me how much he used to love her. Once he walked many miles in a snowstorm to meet her at work so she would not have to drive home in the bad weather.

As a young child, I remember looking up to him and thinking that he was the perfect image of what a man should be. He was an excellent carpenter and I was always proud of the work he did. Not only on his regular job, but also on home projects for friends and family. He remodeled rooms, built additions to houses, and even participated in building entire houses. It wasn't until I was about eight or nine years old that I started to understand that he had a drinking problem. At first, it was when I began to realize that the amount of time he spent in bars was not normal. He sometimes brought me with him. He’d put me at a table and feed me Cokes and beer nuts to “keep the kid happy” while he sat at the bar and drank. We’d be weaving around the road while driving home after leaving the bar.

I remember being at family functions that had a lot of drinking going on. My mother would be sitting on a couch or cowering in a chair, keeping very quiet to herself. After a while, I started to understand that she was anticipating the way he was going to treat her once we got home. After us kids were in bed, he would reach a stage of drunkenness where he would be yelling at her and picking at her, emotionally abusing her for whatever was bothering him on that particular evening. Usually it was something trivial. He would berate her in his drunken stupor until he fell asleep. He was not like this when he wasn’t drunk. The difference was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

Once I got a little older, he would start those drunken tantrums on me. One time he slapped me on the face so hard that it turned red. Another time he came into my bedroom and yelled at me for how messy it was. Then he started shoving things from the top of my dresser and shelf onto the floor. I can't begin to count how many times I was in the car with him driving drunk and weaving all over the road. It amazes me that I am still alive today to tell you this.

By the time I was ten years old I lived in fear of my dad. He would almost always go to a bar after work and stay until late in the evening. If I was sitting in the living room with my mother watching TV, as soon as we saw the headlights of his car come into the driveway, she would expect me to run upstairs to bed and pretend I was sleeping. She took the brunt of his drunken abuse and tried to spare us kids. He would come into the house and start yelling at her about whatever. I could not understand what he was saying because of my hearing, but he was loud enough for me to know that he was yelling at her. I would eventually fall asleep to the sound of his yelling voice.

He had plenty of accidents due to driving while intoxicated. He totalled seven cars that I am aware of. Laws were different then and they kept letting him off. By the early 1990’s, laws had finally changed and he permanently lost his license after yet another accident.

The alcoholism got worse as the years went by. He became a role model for the man I never wanted to be. I hated his drinking, his smoking, and what he did to my mother. Most kids get upset when they find out their parents are splitting up, but I was relieved when my mother told me she was going to separate from him. I was 13 at the time.

Long-term, what this did to me was put me in a state of constant fear of anyone who was drunk. The legal age at that time was still 18. Drinking at the local bars was very popular in those days. When I turned 18, I mostly avoided bars. I only went to them to see my friends who played in bands or when I played out in a band.

When I first started college, I avoided the bars completely. Over time I got comfortable enough to go to a disco in Geneseo so I could have at least some semblance of a social life. Once in a while I would go to see a live band at another bar. I did not want to date or get into a relationship with anyone who seemed to have a drinking problem. When I first met Mary, who became my first wife, I was comfortable enough with her to go dancing at the bar that had a DJ and we went there fairly often.

After I graduated college and entered the workforce I very rarely went to any bars or socialized with my coworkers outside of work. If I went to a party where there was drinking going on, once it reached a certain level of drunkenness, I would leave. All of this was due to the fear that was instilled in me by my dad's alcoholism.

A major turning point came for me at Christmas time in 1985. Mary and I were invited to Christmas dinner by my dad’s wife. He was not home when we arrived; he was down the street at a bar, drinking. We were seated at the table when he arrived, stumbling into the house. He was at his mushy stage of drunkenness and wanted to hug everybody. Once he got to Mary, who was pregnant, he started to fall over on her. I feared for her safety and the baby, and said, “We are leaving.” His wife looked at me with understanding and we left. It became a symbolic moment for me, realizing I never again had to rely on him for rides while he was drunk or anything else. He did come over to our home the next day while sober to ask me why I left. I told him flat out, “It’s because you were drunk.” From that moment on, I rarely saw him. Nor did my sisters. He has grandchildren that he never met. Never showed much interest. This is what alcoholism did to the man who once protected his younger sister during the bombing raids of World War II.

In his final years, he ended up in a nursing home, a shell of a man. I visited him on a few occasions. In 2006, when I was told he wasn’t going to live much longer, I made my final visit to him. At the end of the visit, I stood up, looked him straight in the eye, and said, “Goodbye.” I walked out of the room and never saw him again.

Five years ago my life changed in ways I never expected. After my first marriage ended, I ultimately met Stacey. I have come out of my shell in many ways. We do go out a lot but I still don’t drink much. We go out mostly to be with friends, hear bands, dance, and sing karaoke. I have learned to keep my distance if I see too much drinking going on.

I am not a teetotaler. I do have a drink once in a while. Very often people who see me having a drink are surprised. I never liked beer. I've heard it said you need to acquire a taste for beer. I never had any interest in acquiring that taste. I like sloe gin fizz, red wine and some other wines, and I will once in a while have a mixed drink with vodka. Anytime I do have a drink it would be early in the evening and only one. Stacey doesn’t drink much either. I am very thankful that Stacey does not have any kind of a substance abuse problem.

So, again, I write this story so that people with a drinking problem will hopefully understand what they are doing to their loved ones and encourage them to get help. I hope you pay attention. Thank you for reading this.

My Memories of September 11, 2001

Everyone who was alive on September 11, 2001 has their own story about the day, so here is mine.

It started out as a routine Tuesday for me.  At the time I lived on Willowood Drive in Greece, was married to Mary and our daughters Kristi, 15, Tracy, 12, and Melissa, 10 all lived with us.  I was working the evening shift at WHEC Channel 10 in the control room and was due in at 3:00 PM.  Mary was teaching at Brookside School and the girls were all in school that day.  My plans before work were to go shopping and then attend a meeting of the group, SHHH, Self-Help For Hard of Hearing People.

For reference, the times of the plane crashes on that date were 8:46 for the first plane into the World Trade Center, 9:03 for the second, the Pentagon at 9:37, and a field in Shanksville, PA at 10:03.  The first tower collapsed at 9:59 and the second one collapsed at 10:28.

It was shortly before 9:00 AM when I was driving to Wegmans and had WCMF radio on in my car.  I heard them discussing something about a plane crashing into the World Trade Center.  I knew that a plane had hit the Empire State Building in the fog in the 1940's.  The damage was a hole on the side of the building, which eventually got repaired.  I pictured this incident being something like that.  They did say something on WCMF about air traffic being restricted from the New York City area.  As a private pilot myself, I tried to comprehend what this would mean for routing air traffic away.  "What a mess," I thought.  I surely did not grasp the magnitude of what was happening at that moment.  

I went into Wegmans and completed my shopping trip, all the while wondering how a plane could have crashed into the World Trade Center in this day and age, and thinking about the air traffic situation. It was around 10:15 when I got back in my car, turned on the radio, and that's when it all hit me about what was going on.  While I was shopping, the second plane hit the Trade Center, a third plane hit the Pentagon, and a fourth plane crashed in a field in Pennsylvania.  As shocking as it was, it didn't take much for me to figure out that this was some kind of an attack on the United States.  But who?  And why?

My home was only 5 minutes from Wegmans, so as soon as I got in the driveway, I left the groceries in the car, ran into the house and turned on the TV.  All I could see from the aerial shots was a tremendous amount of smoke and dust over southern Manhattan. I was shocked!  I could not believe what I was seeing. What I didn't know was that the first tower had already collapsed.  Just then, my phone rang. It was a reporter from a newspaper....I don't remember which one.  At the time, I was president of the Rochester Pilot's Association and they wanted my thoughts on the national aviation airspace being shut down.  I told them I was just learning of everything and didn't know what to think or say at this point.  I have no idea if my comments got published or not.

I continued watching for a few more minutes.  In all the  smoke and dust, I did not realize that the first building had already collapsed.  The phone rang again.  It was my mother asking me if I was watching this, and if I had seen the plane crash into the building.  Up to then, I had not.  As we were talking, I had an eye on the TV and then I saw the second building collapse.  I said to her, "The building just collapsed!"  Only then did I realize that the first one had collapsed a half hour earlier.

My mother, at that point, had been fighting pancreatic cancer.  She passed away 8 months later.  It's sad for me to know that she spent the last 8 months of her life in the post-9/11 world.

After we hung up, I continued watching the events unfold on TV.  At some point, I managed to get the groceries in from the car and put away.  I received a message that the SHHH meeting was cancelled, and I was asked to come into work earlier, at 1:30, to stand by for whatever was needed on the crew.

I remember that Mary called me at one point, worried about our daughters' reactions to all this.  I reminded her that, like her in her own classroom, their teachers would be handling the situation with their students. That seemed to calm her down about our daughters.  I did leave a note on the table for all of them to read, when they got home, expressing my feelings and offering hope that they were handling this OK.

I arrived at work at 1:30 and don't remember what I did for the first hour and a half.  Probably just sat around, watching coverage from NBC and waiting on standby in case I was needed for something.  I was scheduled in Master Control at 3:00, and that's when I took over.  

Master Control was the position on the crew where you run all the programs and commercials that go over the air.  At the time, our programs came from videotape machines. a satellite feed, or the NBC network feed.  In this case, we were running everything from NBC since they had the resources to show what was going on in New York City, Washington DC, and Shanksville, PA.  I was asked to stay in Master Control for my entire shift, including my lunch break.  We usually rotated crew positions, but on this day, we all stayed in one place for the whole shift so that everyone could focus on one job and there would be no confusion with people changing around.

NBC was based in New York City near Ground Zero.  Since no one knew where these attacks came from, NBC didn't know if the network might get knocked off the air or not.  They sent messages to their affiliate stations, advising us to keep local programming on standby in case the network feed was lost. Therefore, part of our job was to keep the regularly scheduled programming running on our tape machines so that we'd have something to go to if we lost the network.  In the meantime, the news department was keeping up with the local angle.  We actually already had a crew in Albany because of another story that we had planned to cover, but that was cancelled and the crew was sent to New York City to get as close as they were able to get to the World Trade Center.

Through my shift, I continued to keep track of the programs we were running on standby.  All of the commercials were cancelled so we could run news coverage as a public service, which was the original intent of television and radio broadcasting.  I did keep track of the commercial schedule, just in case for some reason they decided to start running them again.  If I recall correctly, I think we went three days without airing any commercials.  That's a lot of lost revenue!

Most of my shift is a blur to me.  Just seeing endless repetitions of videos of the planes crashing into the buildings, the collapses, and all the dust and smoke.

We broke into network coverage several times to give local news updates, and we ran a full half-hour newscast at 11:00 PM.  I actually have the program log from this day.  Program logs are required to be kept for a certain number of years and then they can be destroyed.  When the logs for 9/11/01 and 9/12/01 were slated for shredding, I was able to obtain them.  At this point, if I was able to find a suitable museum that would treat them with the historical respect that they deserve, I'd be happy to donate them.

I signed off my shift at 11:38 PM.  I went home and tried to sleep with visions of buildings collapsing dancing in my head.

I recall that in the immediate days after the attacks, the whole country came together.  No one knew what was going on or who was behind this.  For a brief  moment in time, we were all Americans and the rest of the world was united in support of our country.  It saddens me that over time, politics and crazy conspiracy theories emerged and have divided us.

Comics

 A couple days ago, I posted a blog about my family's old station wagon.  I wrote about how my mother used to buy comic books for my sisters and me to read in the back of the car while travelling.  It got me thinking about the characters in the comics I read.  I was never into the super-hero comics, such as Superman, Batman or Spiderman.  I enjoyed a lot of the Harvey Comics, such as Casper the Friendly Ghost, Little Audrey, Little Lotta, Little Dot and Richie Rich.  The Disney series was a favorite, with Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Daisy Duck, Scrooge McDuck, Huey, Dewey & Louie, and April, May & June.  I also loved the Archie comic series.

I'd have to say my all-time favorite comic when I was younger was Dennis the Menace.  I just got a kick out of all the shenanigans he pulled, often involving his friends Margaret and pal Joey.  Poor Mr. Wilson, and the ever-loving Mrs. Wilson.

While I accumulated a nice collection of comic magazines and books, I also read the comic section in the daily newspapers and especially looked forward to the color Sunday section.  I was a voracious reader of comics.  I have no doubt that it helped me with developing my reading skills as a youngster.  My dad called me a bookworm.

We usually got up early on Christmas morning to open the gifts that Santa Claus had brought us.  I remember one Christmas where, because we were up early, my parents wanted the whole family to take a nap in the early afternoon.  Once I got into bed, instead of sleeping, I read an entire Disney children's novel about Mickey Mouse.  I just couldn't put the book down.

Easter Joy

Happy Easter! I thought I would start the day with some positive thoughts this Spring of 2021 and hopefully the light at the end of the tunnel for this Covid crisis. Most of my family is healthy and doing well. My daughter Melissa is a burn survivor after a horrible car fire on January 27, but she is healing well now. Stacey and I were able to get to Florida for a few days earlier this week, enjoy some sunshine, and be in Disney with some relatives.

I am mindful of the fact that holidays mean different things to different people. Some people celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus on Easter, other people celebrate its more secular traditions, such as chocolate bunnies and colored eggs. I feel that neither is wrong. Easter, just like any other holiday, means what you want it to mean to you. 

I always enjoyed my family's Easter traditions, which included a church service and family get-togethers and activities. I took this photo of my mother, father, and two sisters on Easter Sunday, 1973, not long after receiving my first Polaroid camera.

Today Stacey and I will be visiting one of my daughters, her husband, and my two grandchildren.

Happy Easter! Enjoy your day!

Scatterbrained Thoughts #1

John F. Kennedy never knew the name Lee Harvey Oswald.

Ben Franklin flew a kite but never flew an airplane.

Somebody had to be the first person to die in an airplane crash.  It was Thomas Etholen Selfridge, who was a passenger in a plane piloted by Orville Wright on September 17, 1908.

Clothing stores don't have an "intimate apparel" section for men.

When you walk into a Walmart store, most of what you see will be in a landfill in 10 years.

A porn weather forecast:  5-6 inches here, 8-10 inches there.

That god-awful sound of us from behind closed doors is not what you think it is.  It's the two of us trying to sing a song together.

People cough, burp, fart, and have other bodily functions, for which they say, "Excuse me."  But why is it up to someone else to say "Bless you" after you've sneezed and got spit all over them?

In the movie, The Parent Trap, starring Hayley Mills, how is it that an American couple has two daughters with British accents?

On expressways, I don't believe there is any such thing as a "passing lane."  The left lane should be called the "tailgating lane" because everyone in it is tailgating the person in front of him or her.


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The Old Family Station Wagon

We weren't exactly The Brady Bunch but we fit the stereotype of a 1960's and 1970's family with a station wagon. I think it was in the mid-60s when my parents purchased a Dodge Dart. We certainly made use of the cargo space in the back to carry things around, and the back seat was always down on family trips. That would never go today, of course. This was back in the days when we would lay out the blanket across the whole back section. My sisters and I could lounge around with books, comic books, snacks, and sugary drinks to while the hours away while traveling.  The one thing it didn't have was the third row of seats in the back, which faced rear-ward.  My cousin's family had a station wagon like that and I was actually jealous.

This is my sister, Nancy and me in the back of our station wagon on a trip to Lake Placid around 1964.

Our trips were frequently to the Adirondack Mountains to places such as Lake Placid and Lake George. My mother would purchase new comic books for us to read, but we were not allowed to start reading them until we got to the New York State Thruway, which was a forever-drive to me.  My dad called me a bookworm. I could not wait to get through the toll booths so I could indulge myself in the new comic books. My father sometimes pointed out sights along the way, which was boring to me as a little kid; I appreciated the sights later as I got older. We visited places such as Santa's Village, North Pole on the side of Whiteface Mountain, Enchanted Forest, the Land of Make Believe, and Gaslight Village. Many of these places are gone now. That Dodge Dart held many memories for me. It was definitely a our family vehicle.  It came to an end in the early 1970's when my dad a car in front of him. Sadly to say, it was his alcoholism that was at fault.

My Out of World Experience

Not many people know about the time I was invaded by aliens. Well, it really wasn't quite so much an invasion as it was an opportunity to see the world from outer space. Last summer, I took a trip out west in my van just to see the scenery. One of the places I stopped at was Devil's Tower, which is well-known for being featured in the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Well, I discovered in the middle of the night that some of what you see in the movie might actually be true. It must have been about 2 or 3 in the morning I got up to use the restroom. After I came back out, an odd-looking male figure approached me in the darkness and motioned for me to follow him. I did. 

We walked along a rock wall that shines very red during the day. Just around the corner in the very dimly lit night, there was a saucer-shaped craft with a few other similar looking characters hanging around the outside. One of them spoke to me in a very broken English and asked me if I would like to go for a ride. I said yes, so we boarded the craft. He told me he was from the planet Doonvomorzey. They had been watching TV signals from Earth for a long time and were perplexed as to why so many of our movies on Earth showed aliens as wanting to "invade" us. They are just as curious about us as we are of lifeforms beyond our planet. Their technology is more advanced than ours, so that's why they were able to travel here. They had seen "Close Encounters." They thought landing at Devil's Tower would be a fun way to visit Earth.

They were afraid that humans on Earth would freak out if they saw them. This is the reason they were hiding. When they saw me walking around by myself in the middle of the night, they felt safe enough to ask me if I would like to go for a quick ride with them. So I boarded the craft, and sat by a window. There were no noisy engines, fiery rockets or anything like that, the liftoff was just quiet and gentle. Some amazing technology! We quickly headed straight up and broke through the Earth's atmosphere. We took one orbit around the Earth and I was able to see much of what astronauts normally see from the International Space Station. Once around the world, we descended right back to the point were they had landed before and let me out. We waved goodbye to each other and I went back to my campsite to go back to bed.

Nothing dramatic, but that was my alien experience. Now you know.

Paul Pakusch, Respectfully Submitted, April 1, 2021

Disney During Covid

After deciding to spend five nights on an impromptu trip to Florida, Stacey and I chose to spend three of those nights at Disney World. Some of our family members were booked at the Art of Animation Resort, and we ended up with reservations at the Pop Century Resort. They are connected to each other by a bridge and sidewalks along the parking lot. 

Because of Covid, Disney is limiting the number of people in each park through a reservation system. My relatives already had reservations for Monday and Tuesday of this week, but reservations were full by the time Stacey and I started looking. We did find some openings at Epcot and Animal Kingdom for last Saturday and Sunday, so we chose to go to Animal Kingdom on Saturday. We would spend Sunday just relaxing at the resort with family. This would also be our first time flying since Covid hit.

Friday, March 26

We left Rochester for a flight from Buffalo to Baltimore. There were high wind warnings in effect. We saw a beautiful double rainbow ahead of a storm, just before reaching a rest stop. Sadly we did not get a picture of it. At the Buffalo airport gate, every other seat was taped off for social distancing. We found this ironic since the flight was completely sold out and as crowded as ever. Masks were required for the entire time on board the plane. As a private pilot, I was gratified that the wind was blowing straight down runway 23, per the windsock. The flight wasn't bad considering, bumpy mostly below the cloud tops. In Baltimore, all of the seats at the gate were available to sit in.

Once we arrived at Orlando Airport, we needed to retrieve our luggage as Disney Magical Express does not do luggage service anymore. Our wait for a bus to Pop Century Resort was about a half hour. Other people going to other resorts were in longer lines with longer waits. Seating capacity on the buses is reduced due to social distancing. They staggered the seats by assigning them to your group.

Checking in to Pop Century was done online through the My Disney Experience app. We were instructed to go straight to our room and unlock the door via the app. It worked. We later went to the front desk to pick up Magic Bands. Hungry after a day of travel, we were instructed to order food through the app, and received a text message when it was ready. We had the choice of taking it elsewhere or eating in the food court dining room, which had tables spaced out. Although we purchased resort mugs with unlimited refills, the drinks were actually handed to us in disposable paper cups.

Saturday, May 27

After having a light breakfast in our hotel room, we took a Disney bus to Animal Kingdom. For social distancing, the driver assigned us to seats.  There were plastic dividers between seats. Upon arriving at Animal Kingdom, they did a quick temperature scan, we breezed through security, and walked right in, as our wrist bands had our tickets and park reservations on them. We were in the park 5 minutes before the scheduled opening time of 8:00 AM. We headed straight for Avatar, Flight of Passage, which already had a long line. Wait time 60 minutes when we arrived. The length was actually deceptive because everyone was spaced 6 feet apart by marks on the ground. For the  most part, the line kept moving.

Once on the ride, I was concerned that having my mask on would steam up my glasses, thus preventing me from fully enjoying the view. But air blowing from the console in front of me helped keep my glasses clear. This was our second time on Avatar and we both enjoyed it more than the first time a year ago. 

We then waited 25 minutes for the Na'vi River Journey and got in line for the Kilimanjaro Safari. The Festival of the Lion King show was not running, so with the Safari line being stretched for social distancing, they used part of the Lion King waiting area for the Safari line.

We spent the rest of the day with similar social distancing procedures as we made a big circle around the entire park. In Africa, we walked the Gorilla Falls Exploration Trail, and attempted drawing a cartoon at Rafiki's Planet Watch. In Asia, we saw Feathered Friends in Flight, walked the Maharaja Jungle Trek, and rode Expedition Everest. Yikes! In Dinoland, we went back in time on the Dinosaur ride. On Discovery Island, we watched It's Tough to Be a Bug. 

Throughout the day, we took frequent breaks just to sit down, relax, and enjoy people-watching. The park was limited to 35% capacity so it made for an extremely enjoyable uncrowded experience. Stacey had made the right choice by choosing this park on a hot day because all of the trees provided plenty of shade.

After completing the circuit, we had enough time left to go back and visit Avatar again and the Na'vi River Journey.

After we got back to our hotel, we visited with family that had arrived.

Sunday, March 28

On Sunday, we slept in late, had breakfast, visited with family for a little bit, and then spent a few hours at Disney Springs. There was much social distancing required at Disney Springs as well as the parks. Some of the more popular stores had lines outside with people waiting to get in. The Disney Store itself had a wait of about a half hour when we went.

We had dinner with family, then spent a quiet evening at the hotel. On Monday morning, we had breakfast with my sister, checked out, and headed for the St. Petersburg and Clearwater area.

Disney is very strict about wearing masks and social distancing. There are markers on the ground everywhere showing where to stand. They even review photos taken for Photopass and will not release them unless the people in the photos have a mask on.

Although this was all instigated by Covid,  I have to say that this was actually a very pleasant trip to Disney World. It was wonderful to be able to walk around Animal Kingdom without horrendous crowds and no Fastpasses. In my opinion, I think it would be fine if they got rid of the Fastpass system altogether. When you have the Fastpass line, what it's really doing is holding up the regular standby line. Sure, it's nice to be able to get in and use a FastPass for one or two rides, but then you pay back by waiting in long lines for everything else.

Keeping My Photos Safe

Years ago, I made the decision to disassemble all of my photo albums and scan them to digital. I did that when digital photography became the standard. Once I felt confident that all of my photos could be secure in digital format and reasonably easy to view, I didn't feel the need to have a couple dozen photo albums around taking up space. There are times when I see friends and family trying to decide what to do with their photos once the storage space on their phones becomes filled up. Obviously, in one way or another they need to be taken off a phone. The phone is only going to last so long anyways.

Some years ago, I created a website to sell my photography to the general public. I also created a folder on the website for my family's pictures. I uploaded all my scanned personal photos to this folder. I have made it a regular habit to upload pictures that I take on my phone and with my big fancy camera to the family folder. While my photography pictures are available for the general public to see and purchase, the family folder on it has a password which I share only with family. In my opinion, having a paid website or storage like this is a lot safer than relying on free sites like Facebook to keep your pictures on. You don't really own your site on Facebook and they can make changes that you don't like or even delete your account. I host my site on smugmug.com. My photo site is tallphotos.com.

So my kids, my sisters, their significant others, and my nieces and nephews are all excited to have access to all the photos that I've taken of them through the years. I invite them to upload their pictures to this family folder as well. I am committed to keeping it for the rest of my life, my children will have to decide how to handle it after I'm gone.

Time to Change Time?

I've noticed a lot of people complaining about the change back to Daylight Savings Time a couple weeks ago. Everybody is tired. Everybody says it's an idea that doesn't need to be around anymore. Maybe they are right. Maybe the whole concept of time zones as we know them needs to go away. In aviation, everyone around the world uses the same clock so that flights can easily cross time zones on the same schedule. They call it Zulu time, or Greenwich Mean Time. If everybody in the world did the same, then everyone would share the same clock.

Yes it would be confusing at first but we would all get used to it. Right now, people need to adjust themselves to what the person in another time zone is experiencing. For example when it's 9 a.m. in the Eastern Time Zone, it's 6 a.m. in the Pacific time zone. We know that it's still a few hours away before business opens in the Pacific time zone. Everyone gets that and it's not too hard to understand. But still, you have to think about it when you talk to a relative or business acquaintance in Europe, Japan, Australia or some other place in the world. You have to a conversion or look it up. But if you were all on the same clock, then it would be simple and nobody would need to convert.

Right now, in the Eastern Time Zone, we know that London is 5 hours ahead of us during Standard Time or 4 hours ahead of us during daylight savings time. What if you left it at the same 5 hours throughout the entire year and all on the same clock? If it was 1700 hours in New York for example then you would know that it's 5 hours ahead in London so the time would be 2200 hours.

For example, a New Yorker could ell their relative in Paris, "I will call you at 1400 hours." You both know when to expect 1400 hours because you would be on the same time. 

This is a different way to look at time and clocks, but maybe it's time to think about it.  Pun intended.

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Finally Remembered Her Name

In May of 2017, I went to a WPXY 80s party at the Burgundy Basin Inn. I had plans to meet several friends there, including Judy. Judy's friend was there, too. I had met her a few times before that. I apologized to her and asked her what her name was again, because I kept forgetting after the last few times we had met. She told me it was Stacey.

Well, we got into the group dancing that my friends and I usually do. As the evening progressed, I began to notice that Stacey had quite a bit of dancing stamina. She kept on dancing and rarely took a break. When the others stopped dancing, Stacey and I kept dancing.

We did stop long enough to have group pictures taken of us in our 80s garb. I told Stacey I'd like to send her a Facebook friend request so I could tag her in pictures.

After that, a good friendship developed. Judy, Stacey and I got together a lot for dancing, including one notable night at the Shortsville firemen's carnival, where we still brag about dancing barefoot in the mud to the rock band, Dean's List.

Three months later, Stacey and I became a couple. While I've already written much about our relationship together, and will undoubtedly write more, I'm reflecting today on how we have affected each other.

Stacey has inspired me to be a lot more frugal in my spending habits.

She inspired me to try karaoke. I always said I would never do it. Well, she loves to sing her heart out and doesn't care who hears her. She looks like she has so much fun. So I finally tried it and actually enjoyed it.

She has overcome many challenges in life to get where she is today.

She has said she feels like she can be herself when she's with me.

We got married in April, 2019, so we'll be celebrating our second wedding anniversary shortly!

How Many Hours to Get Something?

Do you ever think about how many hours it takes to get something that you want?

When I worked at a TV station, we recorded a Sunday Mass in the studio every Wednesday to be played on the air the following Sunday morning. I often thought about how many Masses I had to work through in order to buy something that I wanted. This is not an opinion about the Catholic Mass itself, it's just that being on the production crew for this particular TV show was rather boring because there wasn't much to do while it was being recorded.  A half-hour of this show would be one-half of an hourly rate for me. In some of those days, I'd make around $25 an hour, which translates to $12.50 earned per half-hour show. So, if I wanted to purchase a $15,000 car,  I'd have to sit through 1,200 Masses!  

I think it's worth taking this kind of perspective when you try to decide whether to spend money on something.  State minimum wages are hovering in the vicinity of $13.00 per hour now, so if you're someone making minimum wage or an amount near it, you might want to think about how many hours you're spending at work to get something.  That would help you decide whether it's worth giving up that much time of your life for it.  It would take 38 1/2 hours to buy something that's $500.


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My Employer is a Top Place to Work in 2021!

Yesterday the Democrat and Chronicle announced that my employer was listed as a top place to work in 2021. 

https://www.democratandchronicle.com/story/money/business/2021/03/25/rochester-top-workplaces-2021-ranked-winners-list/4557762001/

This is the third year in a row that Spencerport School District made the list. Here is the yummy benefit I received for it!

I do agree that it is a great place to work. I started out as a bus driver in the fall of 2014. Several years later, I quit to work another job, but being away from the Spencerport School District made me realize how much I missed it, so I went back.

I've always been treated well by management. It's no secret that there is a shortage of bus drivers across the country. Many people have told me that they admire what I do and could never do it themselves. It's really not as bad is people make it out to be. Yes, you do drive a large vehicle, and you do need to learn how to deal with dozens of children on your bus. But all of that is covered in training; the training is very thorough. They teach you procedures to follow. If you follow the procedures, you should not have any problems. For me, driving a large school bus was not that big a step up from driving my minivan. It has automatic transmission. Once you get used to the size of the vehicle and learning to watch the space around you, it becomes second nature after a while. The other thing you need to get used to is how to operate the air brakes. Depressing the brake pedal on a vehicle with air brakes is no different did any other vehicle, but you do need to know how the air pressure system works prior to operating your vehicle. 

We have a road test every year to keep us on our toes, safety seminars, and other routine training. The support system is great when it comes to dealing with children, and some of our safety seminars cover topics that we need to know for children of all types and needs. 

If you're looking for something different that has perks of a lot of time off, consider learning to drive a school bus. Every school district needs drivers. If there was one drawback, I think bus drivers should be paid more. Maybe that will come in time. If you want to come and drive a school bus for Spencerport School District, you will have the benefit of being at a top place to work, and the best benefit is that you get to work with me!

Aging and Weather

It seems that as we age, we become less tolerant of weather extremes and look forward to moderation. That certainly seems to be the case for me, anyways.

I remember hearing my grandmother complain about the snow when I was about eight years old. She said, "I don't like snow." I couldn't believe the concept of not liking snow! You remember how it is when you're that young; you look out the window in amazement at the first snowfall of the season. Even though it's usually only a dusting, you still hope that enough snow accumulates so you can make a snowman or go sledding.

As a child, I loved playing in the snow. I frequently went sledding on the hill in our backyard and I cut snow caves into the snow drifts that lined our sidewalk or driveway. After I married and we became homeowners, shoveling the driveway was never a favorite chore but when I obtained a snowblower, I felt a sense of raw power whenever I used it! I looked forward to blasting snow out of the driveway. I became proud of being a northern U.S. driver who could handle heavier snowfalls, especially in one of the prime lake effect snow areas of the country? Six to 12 inches of snow? Piece of cake! We loved to laugh at the southern cities that pretty much shut down if there was an inch of snow.

My tolerance for snow and cold weather began wearing thin by my mid-40's. Perhaps a large part of the reason was because I replaced my mini-van in 2007 with a Dodge Caliber. Kind of a cool car, but it doesn't handle the snow as well as mini-vans do. So I became impatient with the poorer snowplowing results in the City of Rochester, where I work. Kudos to my hometown of Greece, NY, where snowplowing efforts are usually stellar! But I still had to drive on city streets to get to work.

As a teenager, I remember loving hot humid weather in the summer. One particular trip to New York City as an 18-year old stands out to me because there was no air conditioning and I remember laying in bed feeling sticky. I loved it! I can't imagine anything more sweltering than New York City in the hot summer.

Many family vacations were in Florida. We often spoke of the "blast of heat" we'd feel as we stepped from the plane to the jetway upon our arrival at Orlando airport. Most people we know didn't like the summer Florida heat, but we embraced it. We looked forward to the almost-daily afternoon thunderstorms that are prominent in central Florida.

I visited Las Vegas on two occasions during the summer months. I saw temperatures as high as 110; it's true that a "dry heat" seems more tolerable than a humid heat. One of my favorite memories of Vegas is standing at the top of the Stratosphere Hotel in the evening and feeling the hot breeze come through.

When my daughter spent some time living in Florida, I humorously feigned jealousy that she got to spend so much time in warm weather while us northerners had to freeze. It appears that recent years have taken a turn, however. We began tolerating the hot weather less than in the past. With some unusually hot weather here in Rochester this year, the novelty may be wearing off. Whereas I used to embrace a 90-degree forecast, as the summer wore on I began looking forward to 80-degree days. 80 seemed to be just about perfect.

I used to feel depressed when summer ended.  Not anymore.  I feel like I'm enjoying the Fall season in more ways than I can remember. I pay more attention to the colors and I've enjoyed some new Fall clothes that I had purchased. I've also decided I need to change my attitude about the Winter. It's been said that you can't always control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. I'm getting older and this is where I live, so I need to be more accepting of the climate and my aging body. Even on cold Fall days, I heard people complain. For once, I'm not complaining anymore. Instead of thinking about the cold, I just think about the nice warm clothes I have. Attitude!

Now that Winter has passed, I am fully enjoying the mid 60's Spring days we've been having!


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If Everyone Drove the way School Bus Drivers are Trained

When I first started learning to drive a school bus over six years ago, I discovered that I needed to unlearn some bad habits. It made me aware of how badly most of us drive, yours truly included. Of course there are some bad apples among school bus drivers as well, but if we were all to drive our vehicles, both personal and work, the way school bus drivers are trained, accidents would be very rare. The key is to make sure your vehicle is working properly and that you are driving defensively. Most people learn to pass the road test as teenagers, and then develop the bad habits they see everyone else doing.

If you drove as a bus driver is trained, as you first approach your car, you would walk around it, check the tires, all the lights, and underneath to see if anything is hanging loose. You would check all the switches inside your car.

Once on the road, you would use your turn signal well in advance of a turn and cautiously look both ways at least twice before turning. You would slow down as you approach an intersection with a traffic light, being ready to stop if the light turns yellow. You would never speed up to "beat" the light. If a car in front of you was waiting to turn left, you would never go around it on the right side if it's a single lane. Did you know it's illegal in N.Y.S. to drive on a road shoulder? Many people also use the road shoulder as a turning lane, which is also illegal.

You would come to a full stop at a stop sign. While driving, you would keep a safe distance from the car in front of you and never tailgate. You would be watching your mirrors constantly, including the rearview mirror and the two side door mirrors. You would keep both hands on the wheel at all times. And certainly, you would not be using your cell phone for anything.

These are just some of the procedures that school bus drivers are trained in. Imagine how many accidents would be prevented if people drove defensively like this.

My New Band

I've often said that finding the right people to form a band is like finding someone to have a relationship with.  There are so many similar traits you have to consider; how well do you get along, do you have the same goals, can you play well together, and can you make this a lasting relationship?  In either type of relationship, you want to make beautiful music together, so to speak.  I've had wonderful working relationships with my mates in previous bands.  For the past few years, I had hoped to get together with some of them again.  But as time has marched on, none of them were available.

In January of 2020, it looked like Scott, an old bandmate from my Intrigued days, would finally be available.  We started the process of forming a new band and things were progressing.  Then Covid hit.  We stopped for awhile to see how things were going to shake down.  After awhile, Scott decided he was going to focus on making his own recordings in his basement.

I started looking for other people to form a band with.  It turned out my friend Maria wanted to sing for a band.  We decided we would be a package deal; a singer and a drummer either forming a band together or joining a band together.  Ultimately, after some comings and goings, we found Frank, a guitar player who came up with the idea that the three of us should be a trio.  After much discussion, we came up with the name Northern Drive.

So, that's where we are today.  We have a lead singer, a guitar player and a drummer working up a repertoire of (un)Plugged(in) acoustic and electric songs, mostly rock and some country rock.  As we progress, we hope to be ready by sometime over the summer.

We have a website started up to introduce our trio, which will be updated as we have more information to disclose.   www.northerndriveband.com 

Going Forward...

After the Capitol Hill Riots of January 6th, I was so fed up with the state of politics in this country that I decided I needed to take some drastic actions to my Facebook account so that I could reduce the amount of stress it was causing me. Now that it's two and a half months later, I found my actions have worked. I am a lot more relaxed in general. 

I have decided to further reduce my Facebook presence and put more emphasis on my blog. My blog has been around in one form or another for at least 10 years. My topics have generally been about some things going on in my life, travel, occasional blogs about current issues, music, and even a version of my autobiography. In 2016, I had an unexpected change in my life when my first marriage ended. A nephew suggested that I write my autobiography as a form of therapy. It worked pretty well. You can find it in a series of posts by searching this blog.

Since I just turned 60 a few months ago, I've had a lot of thoughts about how time has evolved since I was born, and even published a book of poems that I had written over the past 50 years. 

I have a lot on my mind and I enjoy writing. I plan to continue this blog as a regular feature. I bill it as the random musings of a geezer in the making. That's a pretty accurate description of what you can expect. If it's something you're interested in making sure you don't miss any, you can sign up for an email subscription. It doesn't cost anything.

Tomorrow I plan to write about my new band. Enjoy the Spring weather!

Melissa's Car Fire

 Warning, there are some rough pictures in this post.  These are being posted after a family discussion.  On January 27, Melissa and a friend of hers came to our house for pizza with Stacey and me.  As they were about to leave, she lit a cigarette and flames burst in the car.  They were trapped briefly as they struggled to get out, and came running into the house screaming, "Help, my face is on fire!" Both their faces were bright red and I could smell burning flesh right away. Melissa crouched on the kitchen floor, screaming in pain. As I was talking to 911, I glanced out the window and saw flames inside the car.  I told 911 the car is on fire and that we need fire trucks and an ambulance for my daughter.  I vainly tried to put the fire out with a fire extinguisher, but the whole car was engulfed quickly. I backed away as various things popped and exploded in the car. The fire chief later described what I was hearing.  The loudest explosion was the air compressor blowing the air bag out into the street. The car alarm blasted away.  The first fire fighters arrived within minutes and took over.  I showed them where Melissa was in the kitchen.  Once I knew she was in good hands, I paused to take this photo and the brief video.

Melissa in the ambulance.  I had been on the phone with Mary, her mom, who wanted to know how badly she was burned.  I figured the easiest way would be to show her.

These pictures were taken after the fire was put out.  The cause is under investigation and we are not publicly speculating. We appreciate your patience in this investigation...

Melissa took these selfies over the course of a few days in the hospital.  With second degree burns, her face swelled up as expected.  The swelling has gone down considerably.  She is expected to return to normal with a few scars, but she has a long road ahead of her.

She lost her purse, all of its contents, her glasses, and $700 cash rent money in the fire.  Her friends were nice enough to set up a GoFund me account.  We very much appreciate that.

Finally, just a few more photos of debris from the car, which is completely replaceable.

Rear view mirror

Something plastic that melted

She threw her coat on the ground while escaping the burning car.  This is all that remains.